I have been feeling pretty lost lately. Like I'm running on autopilot. I do this when I need to turn off my feelings, but usually they catch up with me and pretty quick.I guess i'm not the strong silent types i always aspired to be. The strong and the silent are both adjectives that i've come to realize don't in the least apply to me.

Lost is perhaps one of the most frightening words in the English language.I've been feeling 'lost' lately, in transition, and uncertain of my direction in life, a feeling as if I am standing on a microcosm of the earth's land plates, with my left foot on one and my right foot on another, not quite sure if they will move together or split apart.

Every relationship develops at its own pace--don't fast forward to being "soul mates" or "best friends forever" just because things feel great. We cherish the novelty of it all, and the excitement of having something new, because it'll never be new again. Part of the reason we get disproportionately excited sometimes is because we tend to "idealize" a person in the very beginning. When you first meet someone who you have a connection with, it's so easy to get lost in fantasies of how awesome your friendship or relationship might be, but with those fantasies come high expectations, and sometimes those expectations are unrealistic! We need to remind ourselves that this new person is human, which means they're not perfect.

Remembering this game of Lost and Found is like realizing that neither can occur without the other, each is a required part of the game. Like Hide and Seek, one person hides so the other can find them. Both parts are crucial for the game to continue. No side is more important than the other. It's All Good.

i’d like to think that i’m a pretty laid-back guy who’ll take things in his stride when unpleasant things appear, but when i get really really angry (which i haven’t been for a pretty long time), i kinda scare myself. i guess the bottled up anger needs to go somewhere after all. but this’ve got me thinking… why do people always say “don’t get so worked up” or “don’t be angry” like it’s a bad thing? i mean, there are many reasons why anger is a positive emotion.

for example you get angry because you’re passionate about something. you get angry because you want to stand up for yourself and also because you aren’t a pushover. you get angry because you want to defend your beliefs and your rights. and most important of all, you get angry because you care, especially if you’re angry at somebody for doing something foolish or acting like they don’t know any better.

also i don’t believe in holding back on anger for the sake of diplomacy cos i think you shouldn’t hold back for propriety’s sake, or just because you’re afraid you might offend somebody. you obviously wouldn’t say something blatantly derogotary (which in that case becomes a low-down insult, and that’s despicable) or untrue for the sake of hurting somebody’s feelings, but some anger is needed to get things on the right track. furthermore bottling up the tiny bits of annoyance and dissatisfaction will one day become a show of oscar-worthy drama when you snap and explode in someone’s face. that wouldn’t do, wouldn’t it! so we should all relieve the load on our chest once in a while and make our opinions clear.

however, wrath, one of the seven cardinal sins in the Christian faith, is probably the emotion that causes the most destruction in any life that it manifests in. It often appears in forms of abuse afflicted on others, whether verbal, physical or otherwise. technically, i wouldn’t call it a sin because i personally don’t believe that pride, sloth etc. are bad things. sure, they’re evil if you take them to the extreme but they’re just a normal part of life when experienced in moderation. you might go on a holy journey a la Siddhartha [buddha for the uneducated hyderabadis] and be enlightened and purged of all sin, but then again, when you’re at that point in life you’re just not human anymore. those 7 things make us more human because if you aren’t human you can’t feel emotion, so i guess in a way my anger make me appreciate the fact that i’m alive even more. i guess if i were a ghost, a dead man or some ephemeral being i wouldn’t be able to feel at all, let alone be angry!

the point is: it’s okay to be angry but not okay to be overly angry at small things. as much as we might get irritated at the small things people do, especially friends, but we should keep that kind of petty anger in check lest we lose friends due to our egos (cos ultimately being angry is all about the ego and being in control). as much as we might get all self-righteous and use anger as an excuse for some higher cause, the bottom line is that too much of one thing, expecially somethin